Acts and Penal Codes in India

The Indian Constitution and legal administration is one of the most comprehensive collections in the world. Legislative acts and the IPC cover almost every aspect of life in India. And they are planning to cover more. But, apart from the seriousness of these acts, and penal codes they have a funny side too. Their names sound funny, the aspect they cover sometimes sounds funny and sometimes, their existence itself sounds funny. Here is a list of a few acts and IPC sections, which might tickle your funny bone

1. COFEPOSA: Does this sound like your neighbourhood coffee shop? Not your fault entirely. It stands for Conservation of Foreign Exchange and Prevention of Smuggling Activities Act. Enacted in 1974.
2. MISA: Maintenance of Internal Security Act. Enacted in 1973, by Indira Gandhi. It was then repealed by the Janata government in 1977. Lalu Prasad Yadav named his daughter Misa Bharti, after this act, as she was born when he was in jail under this act.
   
3. Sarais Act, 1867: Enacted to regulate the sarais or inns in India. It has peculiar provisions. Under this act, it is compulsory for any inn-keeper or provider of food in his premises, to serve water free of cost. Sometime back, a five-star hotel was pulled in the Supreme Court for violation of this act. Also, the inn-keeper has to make provisions of space and amenities to bullocks, camels and horses. So, if anybody refuses to park your animal, you can take them to court.
4. Bengal Districts Act, 1836: In short, this act gives the Bengal government the power to create as many districts as it wants in its state. It is still in place.
5. Sections 44, 45 and 46: These sections of the IPC define the words injury, life and death respectively. The word "death" as per section 46 applies to the death of a human, unless the contrary appears from the context.
6. Section 375: This section defines the word "rape". However, under this section, only a man can rape a woman and not vice-versa.
7. Fort William Act, 1881: An act that makes provisions to provide for the better governence of Fort William, Calcutta. Covers lot of peculiar things, such as soil removal in unauthorised hours, beating drums or tom-toms, servants smoking hookahs in their masters' house, etc.
8. Hackney-carriage Act, 1879: It was formulated to regulate the hackney-carriages in some areas of British India. Wonder, where are hackney-carriages used anymore?
9. Kazis Act, 1880: It sets the rules for the government to appoint any person to the post of Kazi.
10. Sheriffs' Fees Act, 1850: An act for deciding the clauses for remuneration of the sheriffs of Bombay, Calcutta and Madras.
11. Sir Dinshaw Maneckji Petit Act, 1893 and Sir Jamshetji Jejeebhoy Baronetcy Act, 1915: Tried to find information on these, but couldn't get any. These are probably the only two acts in India, named after two persons.
12. MCOCA: Does this also sound like your neighbourhood hookah-serving joint? Again, not your fault totally. This stands for the Maharashtra Control of Organised Crimes Act. A very stringent act and can be used in extreme conditions only.
    

Who surfed my blog?

I subscribe to Google Analytics to get a few details of my blog. Who visited, when, from where, how did they arrive, all sort of such stuff. Most of the time, I am interested in looking at the range of cities from where people visit my blog.

Recently, I realised about the search engine feature in Analytics. The feature allows you to see what search terms were used to arrive at your blog. Many times, the search terms used surprise you, sometimes they baffle you. You begin to think "What, this combination of search terms puts my blog on the top few pages?" This is based on the assumption that an average surfer would not go beyond the third page of a search engine. Most of the people who use the search engine would have not even gone through the post completely. They do not contribute anything as readers. I mean, I don't expect comments from every reader, but then they do not go away with the satisfaction of having read something nice/good/interesting.

The largest number of hits that my blog (or posts in the blog) received were from a search term "orkut testimonials". Over the past eight months it continues to occupy the top slot for every month's statistic. Now, I know that none of these readers would have appreciated my post on orkut testimonials as most of them are looking for testimonials that they can use. But surprisingly, my blog received the cumulative maximum number of hits from queries related to orkut testimonials. Why would one google for testimonials? I don't understand. As I have said in my post on testimonials, it should indicate the depth of friendship. Not to be used to flatter friends.

Another term that generated a lot of hits and surprises me is "Raj Thackeray". I have only one post related to Raj Thackeray, but the hits contribute to nearly 14% of the month's hits. That most of the people searching for Raj Thackeray are not exactly his fans, such gang of readers do not read and give a thought to the post. Those who are his fans, read and get happy because of the content. But only a few actually try to realise the problem.

While we have our own thoughts about the way people will try to reach our blog, search engine statistics throw up a lot of surprises. When you go through that report, the world appears to be much more stranger than earlier.

On the lighter side

The mobile phone rings. It displays a number that is not familiar to me. I am riding my bicycle to the department. I am on the upclimb near the convocation hall. A little irritated, I pick up the phone. I do that always, as I feel that it could be an important or emergency call.

Caller: "Hello sir, I am Priya* calling from XYZ bank."
This is my credit card company. I get a bit more irritated. Some of it stemming from the fact that I am still riding uphill.
Me: "Yes?"
Caller: "Sir, we are offering you a pre-approved loan of Rs 88,000/- at a special interest rate."
Me(the irritation is increasing): "No madam, I am not interested."
Caller: "But sir, you could use this money for whatever purpose you want. And this is a limited period offer. We are offering you a special interest rate because of your good credit history. The interest rates will be revised next month and you may not get this special rate."
Me (frustration creeping in): "But madam I do not need the money right now. Whenever I need it, I shall take it at whatever interest rates are offered to me."
Caller: "OK sir, whenever you need a loan, please call me on my cell phone. Please note down my number."
Me: "Go ahead." And I pretend to jot her number.
Caller: "Thank you sir, and have a nice day."

I proceed to my department, happy that I could fend off the caller, without offending her. This is necessary as she is doing nothing else but her job.

About a year ago, such calls were common and I used to receive such calls at least once every month. And then, somewhere in mid-2008, the financial markets crashed. Everybody was running helter-skelter, trying to hang on to what ever liquidity they had. Loans became dearer and credit was drying up. And then, one day I realised that the calls from the credit card company too had stopped. It was a blessing in disguise for me. The crash in the financial market had relieved me from the tension of fending off callers for loans. It has brought some peace to me by taking those calls off my back.

What I regret now is, why did I not actually jot down the numbers of the females who had called me up. The least I could have done is called them up and cheered them during this financial downturn. And probably go out on a date with one of them and then pay the bill using the same credit card on which she had once offered a loan. Next, I could ask her for a loan to clear off the expenses incurred on her and ask her for very special interest rates. Well, a lot more could have happened, if I had jotted down those numbers. Just imagination at work.

*The name is imaginary.

The age is adding up

It was a wonderful late-evening. The signs of an impending rain were visible. The wind had come to a standstill. The drop in temperature was being felt by the body,which, sitting on a cycle, was riding back towards the hostel. Not because of the hunch of rain, but because some books were left back in the room and also hunger was not allowing any concentration.

While gliding my way back, down the slop after main-building (the boys call it the H-11 slope), I saw a couple of UG-freshies enjoying their first few days of IITB. A rough calculation told me that they were born anywhere between 1989 and 1991. They were younger than me by almost a decade!! This translates to almost two generations below me. I remember, in the 1990s (when I was entering my teens), my generation used to be called Generation-X (Gen-X). Some cycle company had come out with a cycle named "Generation-X". This means that the Gen-Z has entered IIT, while Gen-X seems to be still loitering around, sticking to the student tag. I try most of the times to avail the "student discount", when many of my peers have become parents.

Coming back to my cycle ride, I started thinking of what have I achieved in all the years that I have existed on the planet. It happens to me a lot of times, especially when I see kids come off their age. They are eager to don the mantle that I have been used to for such a long time. What have I done to move on to the next mantle? Look back in time, my mind says. Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj had already won a few battles by the time he was 26. He had a kingdom and commanded the respect of various local "vatandars". He was a thorn in the eye of Bijapur, by that time, and killed Afzal Khan at Pratapgad when he was around 28 years old. I try and think of my acts of bravery. None emerge!! Sad to say that, but it is a fact. The only killing that I have ever done is mosquitoes!

In the meanwhile, my ride nears its end, as I reach the hostel. I dismount the cycle and walk back to my room, still thinking. Thinking that only a year and half ago, I was amongst the crowd that was targeted by marketers to sell their product. Now, I am slowly drifting into the crowd which is not on the centre of the marketing radar, because this crowd has the money, but doesn't splurge. But, did I enjoy being under 25? No, because I was a student most of the time, and hence no money to splurge. Do I enjoy being on the plus side? Not much, because I am still a student, so no money accumulated. The pitfalls of doing a Ph.D., my mind says. I accept. If I intended to earn money and splurge it, I wouldn't have joined a Ph.D. I wanted to earn enough knowledge and splurge it. I would never be the target of any marketing company. I spend only if it is possible and essential for me to do it.

Suddenly, my eyes veer towards the calender. Annual Progress Seminar to be held in the 2nd week of August. Less than 20 days left!! All thoughts go off the mind abruptly. And I chalk out my tasks for the next day. Have to get some results to show the progress. Otherwise, the "student" tag may stretch for a bit more longer time.